Let’s Talk Sexual Energy (And Why it is So Much More Than S-E-X)
Eroticism beyond the bedroom
Esoeroticism is a way to access sexual energy outside of intercourse. Beyond the bedroom. And when I tell people that, I am generally met with one of two responses:
Either a flat out “why?” Followed by the assertion that their sex life is fine as is.
Or the push back of “I’m not a sexual person.” Assuming that if it’s not literal bedroom play, then it’s simply looking and performing sexy, and they don’t fit the monolithic mold of what that is.
Which tells me everything I need to know about how we’ve been taught to understand sexual energy.
We’ve been taught that it’s about s-e-x. That it begins and ends in the bedroom—whether that be partnered or solo—or that it is fulfilling a visual fantasy alluding to a belief that that’s where things are headed.
This framing isn’t just limiting, it’s impoverishing, because it separates us from our most potent, primal power.
Here is what sexual energy actually is: it is your life force. Your vitality. The animating current that runs through everything you create, everything you desire, everything that lights you up and makes life feel worth living.
From Jungian psychology to Tantric tradition. From Western biochemistry to Eastern concepts of prana and chi. Across cultures, centuries, and disciplines, it has been widely recognized that the energy we typically associate with sexuality is, at its root, the same energy that drives creativity, passion, magnetism, and the capacity to manifest our deepest desires.
As a self-identified witch, I like to refer to it as our cauldron of power.
So knowing this—that our sexual energy is also our creative energy, our directed passion, our capacity to birth not just babies but businesses and art and entirely new versions of ourselves—why would we relegate its cultivation exclusively to the bedroom?
This is the question Esoeroticism addresses. With the emphatic answer that we shouldn’t!
Because when we access our sexual energy only through intercourse, it remains fundamentally limited. It is always contingent on another person, or a specific response within our body, or on being consumable. And other than that last part, there is nothing inherently wrong with this: I am very pro everyone getting out there and having mind-blowing orgasms! But within these narrow confines, the vast well of our most primordial power is only available to us under very specific circumstances. Circumstances many of us don’t align with, have access to, or feel interest towards.
Esoeroticism changes that equation entirely.
In Esoeroticism, we access our sexual energy through embodied, erotic expression, specifically through dance and movement that initiates from the sexual energy center, located below the navel. You may have heard of this area of the body called the sacral or Swadhisthana chakra in Hindu and yogic tradition, the Hara energy center in Japanese and martial arts traditions, or the Lower Dantian in Chinese medicine. No matter what we call it, this area of the body is universally recognized as holding not just sexual energy but tremendous creative and vital potential.
We awaken this energy with our hip circles, pelvic grinds, and sensual undulations. We then use our serpentine expression to circulate it throughout the rest of the body—think rolling, winding, writhing. This is the way energy naturally flows when it isn’t being controlled and suppressed. Ultimately, this allows us to access and amplify our primal, self-sourced sexuality without a partner, without penetration, without orgasm, and without meeting any external criteria.
And I know what you’re thinking: “Oh, so it’s sexy dance.”
It is not. It is so much more.
This is just how we access our sexual energy, but Esoeroticism exists beyond performance, beyond technique, beyond any real or perceived gaze. The dance is the eroticism, but the esoteric ritualization of this experience is what makes the movement magick. More on that to come.
So what actually happens when we work with this energy consciously and independently?
Ultimately, we claim it as our own.We stop being at the mercy of circumstances and start having direct, autonomous access to our erotic power.
We discover what it feels like to be turned on by our own existence rather than waiting to be activated by something or someone outside of us.
This is what I mean when I talk about sexual sovereignty. Not the freedom to have more sex, or kinkier sex, or multi-orgasmic sex. It’s the freedom to inhabit your own sexual energy—that enigmatic, fiery turn-on—autonomously so you may be the ultimate creatrix of your life.
That is the work. And it begins not in the bedroom, but in the body.